Poor guy! Trump forced to call George W Bush for some helpful pointers on being president after recent approval ratings

 

Washington, DC— Number 47 holds the official phone in the Oval Office. His aides hold their breath as he waits for the dial tone.

“Hello, is George W Bush there?” He murmurs.

“Speaking. What can I do for you?”

“It’s Donald,” he groans sharply, “I might need…some help.”

Donald hears a jovial laugh from the 42nd president, “It’s about time you called. Honestly, I was waiting for this call when you were 45. What do you need help with?”

“I don’t know. The people don’t like me or something. I don’t get it.”

“Hmmm,” George thinks out loud, “What kind of laws are you making?”

“The best laws, literally. I only make amazing laws.”

“You can’t think of anything?” George questioned playfully.

“Okay, my idea to kick out Spanish and Middle Eastern people isn’t going as well as planned. I don’t understand.”

“Do you think people like staying in their country?”

Trump bites his lower lip, “I guess.”

“America is a safe haven for people, Don.”

“But some of them speak stupid languages,” Donald shouts. A White House staff makes calming noise until Donald calms down.

“But even stupid language people vote and have a voice.”

“I guess,” Don turns bright red, “What about my rule to make things expensive for people who speak stupid languages?”

“Do you think people like that rule?”

Donald thinks for a moment, holding his breath, “It’s supposed to make us look rich.”

“Will it make us look rich?”

“I don’t know,” he pushes.

“People don’t like tariffs. They hurt feelings and burden wallets.”

“Even if they speak stupid languages?” Donald protests.

“Even stupid language people don’t like higher prices,” George assured.

“That’s my problem. I made these rules and now people don’t like me.”

“You could take them away,” George offered.

Donald grunts painfully, “But I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

“Stupid languages,” Donald yells. The White House staff holds up a sign of a cartoon face showing ease and calm. 

“You asked for my help, Donald. This is my advice.”

“Fine! I will say the Democrats ruined my law and that is why we can’t do it.”

“That’s progress. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“I’m suing Harvard for criticizing me.”

George laughs, “That is a new can of worms. We will continue this call next week. I will follow-up with an email.”

“Ooookay,” Donald submitted. He says “thank you” under his breath.

“Canada is dumb, right?”

“Goodbye Donald, good luck with the rest of your day.”