The Babylon Bee awards their first WASP of the Year

WARNING: FAKE NEWS FOR THOSE OTHER CHRISTIANS 

Babylon Bee, a Christian staple in parody news, hosted their first WASP awards as a way to celebrate their writing staff and key demographic. The reformed satirists distributed many trophies (depicting a man sitting in his armchair watching Fox News) that night for several categories including: Best WASP Bearded, Best WASP Clean Shaven, Best Female WASP Blonde, and the Kevin Sorbo Award for Woke Awareness.

Many notable winners included Matt Walsh, Megan Kelly, JD Vance, and David Schwimmer. Notable celebrities crossed the red (never blue) carpet including: Roseanne Barr, Tim Allen, the cast of Friends, the NHL executive committee, and singer Jewel.

“It’s great to finally be recognized by America’s most balanced Christian parody website,” said Kim Davis, a champion for straight rights.

Next year they hope to get Charlie Daniels to perform at the ceremony.

“We at the Babylon Bee cherish our diverse staff and readership. We have Irish, Italians, Polish, European, Canadian, and Americans in attendance.” Chief editor, Bill Matthews, bragged.