Aslan confirms there will be no more religious symbols for America if government continues tariff on Narnia

 

Aslan, the mighty leader and lion of Narnia, addressed the public in a town hall meeting concerning the rise in tariffs.

"Narnia will not work with any sovereign country that imposes tariffs on this sacred land," he declared to a standing ovation.

He reminded the flora and fauna inhabitants who represent his kingship that America relies heavily on his importation of messianic sacrifices to make them feel like a Christian country.

"That could change in the twinkle of an eye," Aslan warned, "Narnia does not have to bow to the whims of America and 47's administration. We were not the ones who relied on Christian fantasy symbols for our identity. Maybe you can get a many-armed elephant as your religious cornerstone."

Inhabitants of the forest were pleased. Aslan's speech and his approval rating went from 100% to 110% (as analysts predicted). He went back to his throne in the majestic castle and waited for Trump to send his reply.